Today is brought to you by....

Buddhism, Eckhart Tolle, and Jean-Paul Sartre, who remind us (in their own way) that we cause our own suffering and remind us to live in the now.

Today is one of those days, a day that I have decided to think about how things in my life bother me. I have become stressed out. Between my current low paying job, the pursuit of a better (and more ethical) one and my mountain of loans I must chip away at, I am thoroughly stressed. This is of course because I am focusing not on what’s happening right now, but on things that may happen in the future or have happened in the past.

Today is my day off, so there is no reason to worry about my job or what may await in the future (re: employment), yet it bothers me nonetheless. The loan companies are being kept at bay, though I am unable to begin investing for my eventual retirement – which again does not immediately affect me and is only temporary, yet once again I am bothered.

As I step back away from it all I remember what I have read of Buddhist teachings, mostly through Tolle’s interpretation (I know it’s not perfect) and I am reminded that in this moment I create my own suffering. By choosing to focus on past situations at work or things that may happen at work, the way things could be at work and possible futures I cause my suffering. As Sartre would say – by positing a nothingness (a thing or scenario which does not exist) and wishing it into being (wishing it were real – or dreading it) I cause my own suffering.

In this moment, none of the things in the past affect me – nor can they affect me; for they are past. The same follows for what may happen in the future. At this point in time I am free from suffering other than that which I create myself through a denial of the present moment. I must accept this moment with a resounding YES. This moment holds all that there is for me in the world – I cannot travel to the past and the future does not exist until it becomes the moment in which I too exist. For me the present moment is all that there is and when I deny it, I cause my own suffering.

This would hold true even if things in this moment were trying, even if I was having a difficult day, I must accept the present moment. To deny it and wish it were an easy day at work or a day off is to only add to the suffering, accept the present and recognize that it will pass just like every other moment and you will be a happier person. To saturate yourself with loathing of the present or to reject it utterly by living in the past, dwelling on mistakes or dreading the future is to only cause your own suffering.

Methinks I should take my own advice. I will relish this day off, living in the moment and take tomorrow as it may come. This is not to say I cannot plan or prepare for the future or learn from mistakes, but to assign emotion to things that cannot be changed or have yet to happen is to invite more needless suffering to a perfectly pleasant Monday off of work.

A response to: A defense for philosophy?

Though at first glance philosophy may not seem to play much of a role in modern life, truly its omnipresence is akin to that of computers. Though you may not see them at any given moment through out your daily life, once one stops to think about it, computers are there every step of the way. To that end, one may choose to ignore the modern descendants of Conrad Zuse's invention at their own peril. Though your psychology friend may choose to ignore the ubiquity of philosophy, it is there and he may practice it too one day when weighing a moral quandary.

Let us imagine a man who views computers in the same light as your friend views philosophy - i.e. a nonessential part of modern life. I choose computers and close electronic relatives for this example because such a claim is a prominently ludicrous one to make. Anyone who has studied philosophy or who opens their mind and eyes to the world would consider similar claims pertaining to philosophy as equally ignorant or fantastic.

Your friend views philosophy to be a frivolous pursuit, unconnected to virtually any aspect of modern life. In a similar fashion, one may choose to ignore the axiomatic truth that modern life would not be possible without the smattering of silicon and circuitry we use to download free porn, control our power plants and run our cars, your friend may choose to ignore the philosophy in front of him, though to simply ignore a thing does not serve to change the truth of the matter. A man may choose to ignore the battery of binary boxes which run his life at the expense of leaving himself a bit helpless when in need of one of these computational contraptions or he may simply live under a self imposed delusion that refusal to partake in silicon centered lifestyle proves their frivolity.

Though our fictional man may refrain from owning any computer containing appliances or furnishings in his own home or office, his home will likely contain an RFID tag or two used to deter theft from the local grocer or clothing store. Each time he cashes out at a store, a computer will electronically keep track of the items purchased or left in stock. If he feels a need to own a savings club card, his purchase history may be logged, if he owns a credit card, his credit history and anything purchased using credit will be logged on a server somewhere. If this man also believes in banks, all his funds will be stored electronically as well. Not to mention the fact that virtually all consumer products are manufactured, inspected, packed and shipped using computers in varying multitudes of integration, from fully automated systems to simply tracking shipment departures and arrivals. Living a modern life necessarily entails support of a system which relies heavily on computers, whether used personally or not.

I believe your friend is akin to this mythical anti-computer character. Philosophy is behind our moral decisions, convictions and any system of morality. A mans' decision about what is ethically or morally correct to do cannot but be inexorably bound up in a spirit of philosophy, inasmuch as a major branch of philosophy includes morality. Moral philosophy is essentially concerned with what is good and what one should do in any given situation. Do we not weigh various outcomes when deciding to help another person in need or when deciding to mete out punishment (be it in the courts or street justice)? To that end, am I morally required to stop a crime from being committed if I see it happening? What if I am friends with the perpetrator and am privy to the crime he intends to commit? Does it matter how much effort I must exert in order to prevent the crime? These are all weighted moral questions that have no clear or easy answer, which is where moral philosophy and philosophy of action come into play.

This is just one example of one are where philosophy plays a role, but there are many more; constitutional law – what did the founding fathers mean or intend and does it even matter today?; medicine – should a healthcare system be reactive or proactive, should medicine treat a whole person or each part individually? Again, such issues are going to take a great deal of research, moral inquiry and will involve metaphysical and epistemological considerations. A psychology student especially should have some insight into the utility of philosophy, as his own discipline is not but an off shoot of philosophy, though I suppose if he had never taken the time to take a class on metapsychology (philosophy of mind) or delve into the subject on his own this irony would be lost on him. Just as the man who endeavors to live his life without computers emphatically insists that he has accomplished his goal, has only succeeded in deceiving himself, blinding himself to the truth that his life is indeed connected with and does himself utilize and benefit from computers on a daily basis.

Living a life of blissful ignorance of the philosophy in the world is equally as detrimental as living a life in denial of the obvious ubiquity of computers. Acknowledging the value and pervasiveness of both can make your life much easier and open your understanding to the world around you. To underwrite philosophy is to underestimate many a great mind and a discipline which helps to hone great written and oral communication, critical thinking, and creativity. To study philosophy is to study not just ideas and axioms set down hundreds or thousands of years ago, e.g. Zeno’s principles, Plato’s Republic or Aristotle’s Politics, but also the art of analyzing arguments; an invaluable skill to have in a world of bombastic broadcasts trying sell us goods and ideas we don't need.

The ability to critically analyze a complex argument or craft one are skills that will never be obsolete. No, I do not believe Harvard or Yale, Cambridge or Oxford will be eliminating their philosophy departments any time soon, deeming it to be a useless discipline. This economy is just another opportunity to prove why philosophy has been around for thousands of years and is not going anywhere any time soon.

Philosophy teaches us about word choice, argument presentation and composition. These are the skill required when seeking employment, as your resume must convey why you are suited to the position and your interview(s) must reinforce this idea. The most persuasive and eloquent of applicants will undoubtedly stand out against a backdrop of innumerable fellow applicants. Employers seeking those with excellent writing, problem solving and the ability to think critically through difficult problems need look no further than a philosophy major. Since these skills are applicable in a wide variety of fields, one need only correctly market said skills and experience properly to secure a job in said field.

Philosophy is indeed a part of everyday life, from our laws to our Constitution. When you open your eyes to the philosophy around you, you are able to see the world more completely; whether it's the politicians or talking heads on the news everyday who use faulty logic to sway your opinion or commercials trying to sell some piece of crap you do not need. When you recognize the philosophy and analyze it for what it is, you are more aware. When you consider your moral decisions and obligations and reevaluate them, you are practicing philosophy and you are bettering your understanding of yourself as well as the world around you. You just may find there are some unexamined values or ideas you have absentmindedly been sustaining even though they are incongruous with the rest of your life. Simply be aware of the philosophy around you and embrace it, as it can only help you to make better decisions and perhaps better understand the decisions of others as well.

(P.S.I wonder if your psychology friend would have recognized the bit about Ivy leagues as the logical fallacy of appeal to authority.)

Life off the Grid; Living sine Technology

The day technology failed me was the day I lost touch with people. Society has become so dependent on the need for science that we're barely able to function without the comforts of it. And when technology stops working, ceases in its functionality for us, we become hopelessly lost and disconnected. That which we have designed and created for our ease and purpose, disconnects us from actually being able to communicate and be present with one another. We are dependent upon it -- for many (of which I am a part) the computer age generation is entirely dependent upon this technology to be able to function and participate with the greater society and world at large. My present situation serves as the perfect case study of how impacted an individual life is when technology ceases to function.

Martin Heidegger and others hypothesized and speculated on the impact and problem of technology. We cease to live when it works or doesn't work unexpectedly. How much of our lives depend on the function of super computers? How much information is filed on hard drives? Where else is this information stored? What happens when it stops working and breaks down? On the societal level, a large-scale loss of technology would be cataclysmic. The world would stop. No lights. No energy. No phones. No form of communication. No satellites. What of our world exists outside of these constructs to keep us going? Anyone in a hospital on life support would be dead. Forget about your dialysis appointment... Forget about picking up a phone or the internet or the TV to check-in with someone. What would we do? What would be left? The cataclysmic part is worse. How much of military technology is safeguarded? Who is to say that bombs would not be erratically deployed at the first moment of breakdown -- that everything would not be destroyed? Yes, the apocolypitc-doom-of-us-all perspective may be out there. But is it impossible? How many of us as individuals have been dumbstruck and lost when a virus has taken down our virtual world? What do we do when our virtual technological unities break and we're left bereft, writing on paper, by hand, in the dark because we cannot check our emails, social forums, or even get our computers to turn on? If we were isolated, solitary, who would we even be able to reach out to for help?

Even as neighbors, how many of us are strangers, connected more to some image of a person in a mechanical box that we've never met in the flesh than to other fleshy, breathing beings around us? How dependent on cars and cell phones and Facebook and Blogger and YouTube and Gmail Chat are we that our individual lives and connections would be nearly impossible to maintain if a virus, theft, or act of God took those dependencies? Where would we be without them? Would we still be able to live, work, interact, socially connect? To what degree would depression destroy an individual in the moment of complete disconnect from connections made based on the utility of scientific technology? At what point would an individual succumb to utter loneliness and despair with the forced removal of an ability to connect with people?

I am the case study of that individual. I am the example of how failed technology can be ruinous. I am the impacted person, lost from the mainstream connections of the world. I am living off the grid. And it is isolating. The forced cut-off from the majority of my social network is painful. Living - and making a living - is nearly impossible. This is what it feels like to be on the fringe. And desperate. How am I to overcome the circumstance technology has delivered me to and live without the commonalities of virtual/technological social interaction?

How did I come to this? My fated day of life off the grid began a month ago: July 26, 2010. Years of living with severe depression and an inability to break out of denial to deal with my problems directly attacked at once. I awoke that Monday morning to a repossesed Ford Focus, a shut-off cell phone (thank you, AT&T), and a job from which I was "removed from the schedule." However, I still had a landline, supportive roommates, and a functioning laptop. I was still able to communicate via technology (except for when I left my house) and be reached via an archaic house phone. [Imagine if that did not exist!]

Despite the support and list of haves verses have-nots, depression over my car removed me from any desire to leave my house. And so I hid. From humanity. From other fleshy beings. For days. After a few days of locking myself in my room, flipping through TV channels, pulling covers over my head, avoiding the landline and people, I decided to emerge from my cocoon of self-induced despair. I walked through my neighborhood (on the outskirts of where there are Section 8 Houses) to the busstop adjacent from my street. Armed with a grad school ID from a university I am on leave from, I waited for the bus. A stranger stood beside me. Cars passed on the street. Cyclists dodged the sidewalk and the edge of the road. Pedestrians wired to iPods, screaming into Blue Tooth devices, thumbing texts, passed by unaware of their surroundings.

The woman beside me spoke, "You have a beautiful tattoo."
I stared into the open air beyond vehicles and a man sitting on a stoop across from me. I thought for a half-second. My backpiece -- a phoenix bursting into flames with a crumpled piece of paper and a passage from the Tao Te Ching -- was covered by a t-shirt.
"On your foot," the stranger added.
I looked down at the crow on my right foot. I smiled. "Thank you."
We chatted until our buses arrived. She filled the empty air, wishing me well. Before boarding her bus, she shook my hand. "It was really nice meeting you today."

How many times have opportunities to open up to a stranger, to meet and impact someone new, presented themselves? How often has a preoccupation with a text or a shuffle of a song snuck-up and usurped the possiblity for impacting the life of a stranger? To what extent have we lost the ability to interact with flesh and sinew standing among us because of the amount of time we spend preoccupied with avoiding breathing specimens of human life beside us for something distant?

I've spent the past month riding the bus and interacting with strangers, connecting with people who would have been obstacles on the street if my cell phone were permanently affixed to my hand. I would have missed opportunities to speak with a person -- sacrificed for a piece of technology I was convinced at one point that I could not live without. I used to be in need of my phone at all times; I have even been criticized by men buying me drinks at the bar for texting nonstop. Circumstance has forced me to take a step back and make a connection. Now, I listen.

Where does this incessant need to connect stem from? What does it even signify or mean? Who cares about when/if technology falls apart?

Two days ago my laptop broke. A virus? The hard drive? I'm still trying to diagnose the problem. I borrowed an old dinosaur of a Dell, mourning the potential life-threatening disease of my less-than-two-year-old HP Pavilion. I was devastated. I am a writer. I work online. I NEED TECHNOLOGY. Sacrifice my car, my phone. But take away Gmail, Elance, Sittercity, Craigslist, Facebook and I'm a total waste. The old dinosaur Dell shutdown mid-email around 9:15 this morning. I am shut out. Technology -- and the tricks at defragging, rebooting, reformatting -- fail. And I am fading away in a society driven by technology, in a time where jobs have to be found and applied for online. We are dependent and at the mercy of computer-age technology.

And so, the catch-22 of technology, the problems and limitations of science, are real. By harnessing technology, the only options left for us are to create more advancements, to fix the problems we continue to make. The cycle will only continue to perpetuate. Not everyone can live a simple type-writer lifestyle like the likes of essayist Wendell Berry. Even the choice to remove the self from technology is not entirely possible; he still is a part of it -- his writing is printed on presses operated by computers. Google Wendell Berry; find his work on Amazon.com. Technology is inescapable. If we cannot live without technology, what are our options for living in a world in which all we do is determined and regulated by it? Furthermore, does the internet afford us genuine connections? Or is the only way to interact authentically to live off the grid?

I do confess, I've never been so happy to be able to connect with the world by borrowing a friend's desktop so I can attempt to reach out, to connect, to find out if anyone in the world is listening.

Hello? Can you hear me?

[PS This is 4 double-sided (8?) pages of hand-written fine point black ink when you're forced to compose thoughts outside the realm of a computer screen and a keyboard. Just for those who were wondering...]

A Defense for Philosophy?

I received a birthday e-card from one of my best friends today. In the place of words mentioning anything about birthdays, turning a quarter of a century old -- even mentioning that it's my golden birthday (25 on the 25th) were an image and a quip. The image was the classic image of Nietzsche, a droll countenance frozen in time with bad hair and the background were the flames of Hell. The word bubble above Nietzsche read, "Question: How do you get a philosopher off your porch? --- Pay for your pizza." I laughed. Then I remembered how un-fun being unemployed is...then I remembered how determined I was in undergrad to make philosophy work for me...then I remembered that I like the arts and writing...then I got punched in the face by the current economy and world sentiment about the arts and (dare I say it) people who enjoy philosophical thought and conversations.

It reminded me of a recent conversation I've had with a student of pyschology. This person argued to me that philosophy is meaningless -- even stated that he didn't need to know the connections among technology (science) and philosophy or politcs and philosophy -- even medicine and philosophy were unrelated he argued. This individual went so far as to say that he didn't want to read the philosophers or essays I suggested, that he wanted to remain ignorant to my point. I was accussed of name dropping (in my defence for the sake of a point I was continually cut off from making) and studying something irrelevant. However, I wonder why it is irrelevant. I wonder if most people realize that the decisions of politicians are influenced by a history of philosophy, that the problems we face with technology have been predicted by many philosophers, that even an argument for the arts to be kept in schools in a period of financial hardship is rooted in philosophy. The point is, that I was disappointed that an educated individual argued that there is no place in this world for philosophy and further, that science has taken over and filled that space.

But doesn't science take root in philosophy? How, then, is it possible for it to have completely replaced its relevancy? Do they still not work to inform the other? Is science going to fix the problems and catches of technology that it creates or will there again be a call to the students of philosophy -- to those who are interested in the place where subjects and concepts interesect?

Perhaps "philosophy" and the terminology carried within the study of it are outdated and pretentious to a society so taken with brevity. I wonder if that was this gentleman's point. Perhaps time (referring to the limitations in days broken into 24 hours) passes without a thought to the struggles of philosophy -- passes without a notion to those seeking something deeper than the cures of medicine for instance. Perhaps philosophy looks at what happens next, the ramifications, the larger connections of these limits, these creations of science and technology.

Perhaps we live in a time in which people are too lazy to think. It's easier to move through the day without thinking about the impact of our thoughts and interactions with the world. That is the problem we live in. It has, in my experience, become combative. I am criticized for "thinking too much", or am often told by others that they just "aren't that deep." I think the truth hides behind these short words people say to move onto the next thing in the schedule of time. Perhaps we're are too afraid to face ourselves.

I miss studying philosophy in a classroom. It was easy to scrutinize the world and the history of thought patterns through texts and through case-studies of some real world event. It is harsher and more relevant when this absence strikes closer to the self. I am constantly learning. I will never know enough -- never even know enough to make sense of my current circumstance...

...Today is my birthday. I am unemployed. I am poverty. I am without a car or a cell phone or a working laptop. I have become the other. I find myself too depressed to even read, to sit outside and enjoy summer's sunlight. I am left with these thoughts. With this ever-growing melencholia. I am a small sample of a larger issue. And I am left analyzing what more I can do to rectify these circumstances, this current state of affairs armed with a degree many people unfortunatly find laughable. Four years ago, today, I was filled with hope as my final year of college began . Four years later, today, I am left sifting through pieces, posting thoughts. Something in this puzzle is missing. Somewhere is the piece that fits.